Monday, August 23

good days

I write this as I wait for my bath to fill, having just enjoyed
a nice supper on the porch. My mom is in the kitchen with my
husband, doing the dishes (a favorite chore). We have had
good days for four days running...Mom hasn't been waking
up at night and she has been happy. I have tried to figure out
what we are doing to possibly contribute to the sudden sleeping
well...but every evening has been different-wine one night
and not the next, a movie at homeone night and a social outing
(with caffeine!) another, sometimes a walk during the day,
sometimes not. As a caregiver, you can start to feel as
superstitious as a baseball player in trying to figure
out how to have these sorts of welcome outcomes on a
more regular basis...but when there is no answer, I just
let go and appreciate the gift of them.

a few hours later...

Wouldn't you know, after coming down from
my bath, saying good-night to Mom and while
watching a movie with my deario, Mom has woken up
twice. The first time she came out into the living room
with her lipstick on so nicely and her shoes and shirt
on over her pajamas...she was sure there was something
she was supposed to be doing and somewhere she needed
to go. I helped her out of her clothes and shoes and loved
her up and sympathized with what she was feeling after
awaking from a dream. Lights out and awhile later during
the movie I noticed her light was on again. This time, I
went to check on her and she was trying to find
"whatever was making that noise" in her room.
This is all pretty typical, and I suppose our
little interlude of peaceful sleep is over...
atleast for tonight. was a good day.


Kim Hyland said...

Lesley, I'm moved by your tender heart and care for your mother as I've read your posts this morning. My mother is still independent but has had many health issues all my life. Your honesty about your struggle while continuing to care so sweetly is a gentle admonition and encouragement to me to keep loving my mother. Thank you.

Lynn said...

Isn't it baffling? My dad can be fully present, witty, impeccably groomed one day...and on the next, he is donning underwear on the outside of his clothing, obsessing over a little piece of lint on the carpet and having a dickens of a time getting the right words out. We too have spent plenty of time analyzing and pondering what factors lead to what outcomes, and like you, are trying now just to appreciate the gift when it is given. Take care...