wouldn't it be loverly?

(Mom in Hawaii-her favorite place)

We had the thought, now and then in recent days...wouldn't it be lovely (scroll down to the little film at the end of the link) if Mom left on the night of the full moon? The moon that was her special thing...the moon she would watch rise over the water as she gracefully reclined on the chaise on the deck of her home overlooking the bay? The moon that she wore around her neck in gold and diamonds for as long as I can remember? 

My brothers came and went in recent days, and we thought...wouldn't it be lovely if Mom can hang on until my eldest brother, her first-born, can get here? And then we finally knew that he was coming, for only four hours on Wednesday afternoon, and we whispered in Mom's ear again "your Jamie is coming, please stay, if you want to". Then he arrived, and there were tears and caresses, but mostly the very ordinary sharing of coffee and news and questions around the kitchen table, always listening to Mom's rhythmic breath (sounding much as it had for the past few days) through the monitor that sat in the midst of the cups and saucers and other wonderful stuff of everyday life.

Ten or fifteen minutes before my brother needed to leave for the airport, still at the kitchen table, we all heard the change in Mom's breathing. In a moment we were at her bedside, holding her hands, stroking her forehead, looking at her dear face, looking at each other, wondering, waiting...

Then we noticed the light in the room and looked out the windows to see the pink glow of the setting sun amongst the dusky blue....then we realized that the full moon would be rising as the sun set...then we looked at each other again, in the wonder of this most exquisite timing...all the while listening and watching as Mom's breathing slowed and slowed...and our wonder grew...

...for we realized that Mom would go gently....there would be no confusion or fluster or hurry...that all of the Lovely things we had hoped for Mom had come true...and that in addition to all of those Kindnesses...Mom...the best of gift-givers...her gifts always thoughtful, beautifully wrapped and given with such generosity...left us in the gloaming...with the newly-risen moon to light our way through the night...and such peace in our hearts...

(taken this morning)

...and so it remains.

"All I want is a room somewhere,
Far away from the cold night air.
With one enormous chair,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
Lots of choc'lates for me to eat,
Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat.
Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still.
I would never budge 'till spring
Crept over me windowsill.
Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee,
Warm an' tender as 'e can be. 'ho takes good care of me,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?"